Okay, here’s a little insight into our experience at El Dorado Royale Casitas and getting there with Thomas Cook.

Anyway, firstly a little about our choices :

- We are a married, early 30s, European couple….

- Spent 2 weeks in a Swim up Casita between 30th Dec 2007 and 13th January

- Travelled from London Gatwick to Cancun coach with Thomas Cook

- Limo transfers with Lomas travel

Thomas cook

We had the Thomas cook lounge access at Gatwick, which was a waste of 100 pounds as you are given access to the cheaper/shabbier of the two Serviss Air lounges and for some stupid reason they allow kids in. Now I love the little bast…darlings, but God created executive lounges for the primary reason of avoiding them! Complimentary chloroform or at least Sellotape would have come in very useful here, but security checks meant a ban on liquids over 100ml and we would have needed a lot more than that….We didn’t last long before scrapping the idea and heading out for some shopping.....

There was very little difference between Thomas Cook cattle and Premium cattle classes, all equally cramped, all with the complementary screaming new born in each cabin, leg room was a problem for anyone over 5.6”, but we’re both short so were fine....

Cancun airport was fine even with 2 large 350 passenger UK flights and 5 US flights landing within the same hour, luggage took a while but hey it always does and I made the mistake of not putting my wife in the queue for customs which you have to go through after you collect luggage whilst I waited for the luggage. 2 hours later we were through...On the bright side, all the local airport staff were friendly, the airport very new and clean and the only idiots were some lippy Mancunians looking to pick a fight with security....hmmmm.

Can't comment on the Thomas cook rep as we didn't see him/her at any time (our choice) - this was the first package holiday we had done in 7 years and are fairly independent doing prior research and then booking locally.

Lomas Travel (Part owners of El Dorado)

Had a hot and cold experience with Lomas Travel. I can't fault their pre-sales both online and by phone, they were prompt and very friendly. The same was true of the dedicated rep based in the foyer of the hotel who we booked the Dolphin Experience with (Do the ROYAL TOUR EXPERIENCE - it is stunning! and book an early showing say 09:00am, we had a group of 4 people where as the same tour at midday was 14 peoplel!).

The let down was the airport transfer.

The limo transfer was arranged prior at a cost of 150USD as the thought of a 12 hour flight coupled with a 20 hotel drop off no doubt sat next to newborn triplets didn’t tickle my ivories. Anyhow the drivers with relevant placards wait outside the main terminal building and needless to say there are quite a few..... for future reference the guys from Lomas are dressed in turquoise (rather than blue) shirts and a white tie but they are better hidden than French traffic police with those radar guns waiting for the English heading down to Le Mans. The only difference is that the Gendarme jump out of the bushes and snap you with your trousers down, but at least making themselves known, where as Lomas Travel are obviously far better trained: exquisitely covert and have the art of hiding behind columns down to a tee...30 minutes of phoning the main office and watching the Thomas cook coaches steadily depart, the guy shows and pleads ignorance stating that he had been there all the time- “Where were you?” he asked, “Hmmm, well please forgive me Senior for wasting your time, my wife and I actually saw you hours ago, but wanted to play a game of hide and seek as we had so little fun on the flight and then….would you believe it, just as we were about to come over to you, I was distracted by those long lines of beautiful airport trolleys which I just had to go and count and take photos with … individually-such joy!”.

Anyway we were led to the long limo - suitcases in tow, 150 gets you a car but not a porter or assistance….it also doesn’t get you any water or soft drinks, we queried the driver, but he smiled and mentioned that of course there were no drinks, what a silly question to ask as I hid my head in shame! – The wine glasses were lovely to look at though, so who am I to grumble! 20 minutes later we were at the hotel…Best 150 dollars spent! Next time I have 150 bucks to suitably invest, I think I’ll buy some pink fluffy dice with Swarovski encrusted crystals to hang on my car dashboard…..

Check in

Okay this is where it gets good. We were met by a concierge as we stepped out of the car and taken by a Golf Cart to the independent Casita reception along with a Canadian couple. All sorted within 10 mins, 500USD card authorisation for spa and other charges like internet (which goes at 8USD per 30 mins, no wifi and only shared PCs). Porter brought the luggage direct to the room promptly and with a smile. I can not emphasise how friendly and helpful all the staff were with or without tipping.

Bars and alcohol

All the liquor is readily available and recognised brands, available 24 hours a day at all bars, but not room service.

Martini bar is horrendous, unless you like large sports screens or the smell of an Alcoholics Anonymous gathering treated to a “drink all you can” session at Hooters…It really did stink of people who were on the verge of alcohol poisoning…If you want to chill out and feel like you are in Mexico, try the bar at Jo-Jo’s which at least is open air and more relaxed…..

I have to say the free local sparkling wine really is not palatable – so don’t get your hopes up to it being even close to a Cremant or a Cava, because it’s not. I am in no way a wine connoisseur and we’re not ones to waste a bottle especially when it’s free, but the complementary bottle in the room remained unopened as we checked out… Still we continuously heard from the Americans that loved this “champagne”, so perhaps it was just my taste buds suffering from jetlag and food poisoning and Ebola all at once. …We picked up a few bottles of bubbly at Duty Free, chilled it for the day and took it to the restaurants….They do, however, have Moet for 250-300usd and Cristal for close to grand….Bargain! If you are the type who like to uses 50s as a replacement for toilet roll – makes London restaurants look simply cheap! As for the wine list, excl. the house wines, the cheapest red/white was 40USD with the average around 70USD. About average prices for a standard bottle in a good restaurant.

Restaurants and Food

Firstly those in Casitas, go to your concierge and pre-book your tables for a decent time…

All the restaurants were great (except Fuentes which was about as Mexican as the Queen is Jamaican), but this all comes down to the dish you choose for the day – luck of the draw really. Yes there is a dress code, thank god! For some reason people do behave themselves when they are dressed well and this made for some nice dinners in a pleasant atmosphere. Kampai and D’Italia are great for those having problems adjusting to the heat with solid air-conditioning which would make Frosty feel at home….For normal people, I would advise jumpers (sweaters)/long sleeve shirts for the gents and cardigans/pashminas for the ladies along with a request to be seated away from the A/C vents.

Do the candle light beach dinner! And ask the concierge if you want something special…We arranged for some Mariachi to come down from Cancun for the hour and they were outstanding…best 300USD spent to keep the lady happy…

Weddings

The hotel really made a huge effort to make the weddings extra special and have multiple locations for the ceremony and enough bars and areas to host a separate banquet. To those of you who got married (there must have been 10 couples): Congratulations, the brides were all beautiful and the grooms were very lucky. I hope the other guests didn’t disturb your magic day – It is just that some people didn’t realise you were getting married and felt that you were just a party to gatecrash and make as much noise as possible when around you….don’t you feel sorry for them, how were they to know - It was confusing for them, I mean the white dress, brides maids, crying mothers – this could have been a Star Wars convention or anything…

Ok so here’s the run down:

5* resort with 5* service with 4* food let down by SOME 2* clientele. Take the hint (and for once I’m not talking about my fellow Englishmen abroad - my memorable foreign policy friends from across the pond and your northern neighbours), I know you’re only there for a short time (it seems that most of the noisy groups were only there for between 3-5 days, but they were always promptly replaced by another group), but do you have to drink all day – I know it’s free (a novelty and you have to get your moneys worth!) and the bars opens from 10:00 and you have proven from the first daythat you can drink non stop from 10.00 am til 2.00am, but spare a thought for the couple on honeymoon or aching for some quiet time at this romantic resort ....

Disclaimer: We met some stunning people from all over the globe including Americans, Dutch, Canadians, Russians….. Luckily there were always a select group who represented their country with distinction!